A Chat With My Oldest Friend
As I lay in the hospital bed, my breathing was labored and slow. I half-opened my eyes to see several members of my family around me: my eldest daughter, my son, some of my grandchildren, and my youngest great-grandchild, Michael, a young man of twenty. Among them was a friend of mine named William, whom I had not seen in some time. How odd.
"You're all here. How lovely!" My voice was just above a whisper. I knew that was not normal. I had been in the hospital for several weeks now, and the entire time they had never allowed more than two visitors at a time.
"Of course, GG," Michael said, leaning close so he could hear me. My gaze shifted over to the lone window in my room. It was dark outside. Visiting hours had to have long been over. That could only mean one thing.
"It's so good to see you." I very delicately raised my hand to touch his face. My wrinkled fingers stroked his smooth face with love, only to be struck with a coughing fit that forced me to pull my hand away.
"Can we get you anything, Mom?" my daughter asked. I just shook my head. I could see the reflection of the glittery tears streaming down her cheeks as my gaze was drawn to William. We had dated a bit when I was in my twenties. How had they found him? And why was he here?
"Are you in pain, GG?" Michael asked me. I nodded, barely able to see him flag down a nurse. "My great-grandmother is in pain. Can you get her morphine or something?"
"Don't worry about it, dear," I whispered. He was such a good boy, but it was a bit too late for that. The feeling in my body was starting to disappear. William got closer, smiling down at me. It was the smile that made me remember—William could not be here. He had died in a motorcycle accident.
"Time to get out of here," he said softly.
"Finally." The word escaped my lips as everything became dark, then light, then nothing. How dare they not take better care of me? I could feel the anger at my situation, which I was too weak to express, leaving me. I wished I could have seen Michael truly grow up and come into his own. The regret was passing too.
Anger and Regret were earthly emotions, and when we died, our souls were released from them. This entire process must have been fairly alarming to souls experiencing it for the first time, but this was far from my first time.
I found myself in a familiar place—a vast, serene meadow that seemed to stretch on infinitely in all directions. The sky was a blend of twilight hues, filled with various blues and violets and colors beyond what could be detected by human eyes.
The air was filled with the soft rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of birds. I took a deep breath, filling myself with as much of the clear air as I could. It tasted as pure as it smelled. I had missed it here so much. This was the place between places, the home of souls between lives.
"Welcome back, old friend," a familiar voice greeted me, filling me with joy.
I turned to where William would have stood. That illusion was among those that vanished when I was no longer relying on human eyes. They do weird things when they see what they cannot understand.
"Death." My voice was no longer sick and weak, but youthful with the strength of eternity. I grinned from ear to ear at seeing them as their true self. They looked exactly as I remembered, unchanged by the passing eons or the many, many lives I'd lived. "It's such a pleasure to see you again."
"How was it this time?" Death asked me with a laugh, the staff they used for their work held tight in their hand.
"I had a long life this time," I said, reminiscing. "Nothing special, just... life. I worked as an assistant to important people for a while. I married my high school sweetheart. I was a mother, a grandmother, and a great-grandmother."
"How beautiful," Death whispered, wonder in their voice. We began to walk the serene meadow together.
"I suppose so." I nodded. Death said the same thing about every life I'd led, extraordinary or not. "Is Joseph here?"
"No, he went on to another life, or rather, she. She requested to be a woman this time and to start in Norway."
"Shame, I'd have liked to see her again." Joseph had been my husband in this life. We'd met in high school and dated a bit then. Things didn't work out at that time. "What about William?"
"He hung around for a while but he went back too. He requested a touch of memory, so that he would recall that he wanted to work with motorcycles. He wanted to make them safer and make sure to advocate for other drivers to watch out for motorcyclists. How wondrous that will be." Death's words were full of such respect.
"Oh, that William. Couldn't keep him off those things if you tried. I'm sure if he had survived, that’s what he would have spent the rest of his life doing anyway." I chuckled. I had dated William until he died in the accident. Afterward, I stayed single for a few years, in mourning. That is until I met Joseph again at a class reunion. He made me so happy.
Anger and regret may leave you, but happiness and love—those feelings were your soul making its presence known and were never felt stronger than they were here.
"I have very little doubt of that. It takes a lot of conviction to force a memory to stay with you in the next one," Death said softly. "Perhaps, if he had lived, would you have stayed with him?"
"Yes, I believe I would have. Maybe in another version of that life, I did." I smiled, wondering what that would have been like.
"You could give that a try if you want."
"No, I don't think I will. I don't know if I'm ready to go back just yet." The two of us continued our journey across the field. As we walked, echoes of my previous lives began to play around us.
A man working hard to support his family. A woman selflessly raising three children alone. A woman fighting hard to earn the right for her voice to matter. A man mourning his wife and being a strong father for his daughter. A man fishing with his best friend. A woman reading. A man fighting for the sake of love. A woman advocating to protect her definition of love.
A soldier fighting on the wrong side of a war. A doctor giving bad news to a family. A warrior cradling their fallen ally. A thief stealing bread.
So many lives. Across so many times. Some difficult. Some simple. Some rich. Some poor. Some special. Some as plain as can be.
All of them so very important.
"Why not?" Death asked, their attention moving to the many reflections of my previous journeys.
"The monotony can be tiring at times." I poked one of the echoes, causing it to ripple.
"But it seems so much fun." Death gazed longingly at a child version of myself eating ice cream.
"Some of it. Other pieces are difficult. The goodbyes are the hardest part." I watched a version of myself standing over a small box, preparing to place it in the ground. "You don't remember that they aren't forever when you're there."
"That does sound difficult. You seem to handle it well, though." His attention had diverted to another echo, one where I was eating chocolate.
"Experience. You might not remember, but your soul does, and sometimes, every once in a while, it will remind you." Our journey persisted as we discussed my previous life, Death using their staff as a walking stick. As they always did, Death soon turned our conversation away from the heavier thoughts.
"What was your favorite food while you were there?" Death mused.
"Pizza, of course. I don't think that's changed since the first bite I took." I laughed, Death's interest in the most mundane parts of life never failing to brighten my mood. "Why are you always so curious about food?"
"I've never tasted it. There isn't a need for it here. I rather think ice cream would be my favorite." Sadness did not exist in this realm, at least not in the way it existed in life, but there was just the faintest hint of longing in their words.
"Doesn't mean you can't just conjure some," I offered.
"I could, yes, but I have no means of knowing how to create the taste as I have never had it. It would just be a reflection of what I believe it might taste like. Since I know that is not real, it would be too hollow."
"That makes sense." I spoke quietly, processing Death's words. "Food is nice, but it's the same thing every time for the most part."
"Isn't everything usually the same to some degree?"
"A lot of things, yes, but not everything. Parenthood is one of the things that feels a little different each time."
"Ahh, yes, parenthood. I've discussed it many times, but it is something I don't understand very well," Death admitted.
"It's hard to describe. I don't always do it, as it can be tiring. One of those things that needs to be experienced to fully comprehend." I said softly, trying to find the words. After a moment, a thought occurred to me, "What do you do while I'm away?"
"That feels unrelated, but I fetch others. Guide them along until they are ready to go back. Watch the passage of time as a silent observer, peek in on their lives. Forge friendships with the oldest." Death said the same thing every time I asked them about their duties. They were words I never grew tired of hearing.
"That is kind of like what parenting is. Guide them along in the first portion of their adventure, and in the next piece, form something akin to friendship, but always serving as a guide." I clarified.
"Fascinating. That is the best part of my role, I believe. How curious that it exists in some form in life." Death spoke with a touch of amusement and curiosity. "Are you going to be a parent in your next life?"
"I think in some ways," I said, pondering their question, an idea forming in the depths of my being.
"Have you been considering what your next go-around is going to be like?" Death asked.
"While we've talked, yes, I do believe I have," I grinned with a shade of mischief. "This go-around would be the most interesting so far."
"Are you ready, then?"
"As ready as I'll ever be." We stopped, the echoes of my previous lives fading from around us as the quiet, serene meadow became still once more.
"You are familiar with the process already. Grasp the staff."
"A life of happiness and sadness, anger and forgiveness, food, parenthood, children, and grandchildren, perhaps even great-grandchildren. A mundane life, everything that a life should be." I made contact with the staff and began to whisper the things that this life should entail.
"Are you sure? That doesn't sound like it will be the most interesting. Monotony and all that," Death teased as they lifted the staff, a white portal forming before us.
"Oh, I'm very sure." I nodded as the portal formed, waiting for me to walk through it.
"If you are positive." Death beckoned me to the portal. "I'll miss you, old friend."
"Not as much as I'll miss you." I said softly as I grasped Death's staff and pushed them through the portal. Death looked back at me as they flew into the portal, surprise painting their expression, as it closed. I held their staff up, feeling the responsibility that came with it.
"Make sure to tell me what the ice cream is like when you get back, old friend." I said to the silence, as I began to walk along the meadow, ready to take up their role in the time they were away.
As I made my way to meet the next soul, the staff guiding me along, I smiled, a happy tear falling, already anticipating the day I would see my friend again.
Thanks for making it his far! If you enjoyed this check out some of my other stories! More stories to come. Subscribe and stay tuned.
Credit to www.craiyon.com for the images.
This story was inspired by on a writing prompt from reddit.
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